Happiness is not the goal.

Happiness is not the goal.

How are you?

What happens when we answer this question with anything but something positive? All too often, if you tell someone you are frustrated and tired, their response usually is, “Well I hope you feel better!” As if feeling good and happy is how we must be, that it is the ultimate goal.

To me, that is a fairy tale, the concept of everyone being happy all the time. It is just not reality. Life is a struggle, or maybe it is better described as a roller coaster. There are ups and downs, ebbs and flows, that all affect how we feel.

It is ok to be mad, sad, frustrated, scared, happy, excited, overwhelmed, etc. There is nothing wrong with big emotions, emotions that are all over the place, emotions that change from day to day. I believe it‘s wrong to expect that each of us will be happy all of the time.

Contentment is the goal I am aim for...feeling content and real. Contentment with where I am today and who I am. My feelings will pass over me -  they do not define me. I can look and see that the feelings I have are connected to events and circumstances that happen in my real life. I don’t pretend to live in a world that is beautiful and wonderful all of the time. Some days are good, some days are bad, but they don’t change what I know about myself. They don’t change who I am.

Happiness is not my a life in which I am content with myself and real to the people around me. That is who I want to be. When you look at me, you will see transparency. When you ask me how I am, be ready because you might get an earful. Know that when you encounter me, you will find someone who is working to be content and authentic.

Don’t be scared of your feelings, and don’t be afraid to share them. They are just one piece of who you are, and they make you a real human being, walking this earth like the rest of us.

So I ask, How are you?

Today I am a little run down, feeling tired and overwhelmed.

And that’s ok.