In June 2018, I took a big leap and decided to apply for a managerial position within my company. My boss’s boss (I shall call her R) approached me to apply and I was super excited but also scared. I had done so well in my current position (got awards, etc… was comfortable!) and was making an impact. I’m a therapist, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, but I decided to take the leap to get out of my comfort zone. Everything seemed to line up nicely. However, I have to say, I was warned about the position but if you know me at all I was looking forward to the challenge. R said to me, “something has been going on with this position, go and find out for me.”
So I started my new adventure. I had to hit the ground running because my site didn’t have an admin for the front desk so I was now doing two jobs. The site is a busy site, probably the busiest out of the 14 and it was “crunch time”. There were about 30-40 people lined up in the morning before the site opened to receive services. Let me just say I’m not a morning person. Before 8am was super foreign to me. Needless to say, I was struggling! I was struggling to get out the door on time, was struggling to meet the needs of the team, of the clients coming in, and had the pressure of doing a good job!
So I started to seek God for answers. I began my search by looking for a new podcast devotionaI. went on my little podcast app and searched. And THERE IT WAS - “Big Life Devotional with Pamela”. Everything about that icon screamed at me... the red boots, the words Big Life - It was meant for me. I picked an episode to listen to. From the beginning of the episode where to the end when Pamela says “I love you wildly!” (Literally one of my favorite phrases!), I just knew this was the place for me! I listened to this podcast every morning before work to get in the best mindset and I kid you not... those podcast devotionals were made for me! I mean God talked to me every morning and I heard what I needed to hear every morning. Most days I was in complete amazement that what Pamela was saying was what I was going through. How can that be!? God of course! She even makes the joke, “God has your number and he’s calling you!” So true!
As the months went on, I continued to struggle, I continued to see where the problems lied in the position but I kept showing up. I was exhausted! I had one event after another, with high power people attending like the mayor of Orlando. So much pressure. So new. So stressful! I wanted to quit everyday!
But you see there was a purpose. A greater purpose as to why I was there. Not just to fix what wasn’t right but to put the best people in place for that site. To pour into that team and to love on our clients. At first I hated that front desk! Why, should I be working the front desk when I am supposed to be doing my job? By the end though I missed that front desk. Do you know how many people I got to bless by being at that front desk?! So many! I got to see the happy client again and again. I got to learn that position so then I could teach it to the next person so that they could do it well. There was a purpose.
However, this job began to turn the tables in my marriage and family. I was the one with the flexible schedule before taking on this position and could be with my son in a drop of the hat. Now my husband had to do all of it! It was hard! Hard for him to take over something I had been doing for a long time and something I enjoyed doing for the family. I knew, it was time to make a change. So often I believed the change had to be the job or the people instead of looking inside myself.
By February, I had made a deal with R to bring me back to my old position so that I could gather peace and rest. There was so much spiritual warfare at that site it was unbelievable. However, God did not leave me alone in the war. He sent me my temp admin. She is a pastor who has major connections in our community, the work ethic and beautiful background like no other.
In my last months at that site she was my right hand. Together with God, we were able to completely call out all the issues that needed to be fixed. We had key players on board to make the changes that needed to be made so that site could continue blessing others like it was created to do. God then put it on my heart to help put her in the position as the coordinator (my position at the time). I knew there was something bigger for me elsewhere.
In fact, Megan Miessler, had been relentlessly pursuing me to come work for Lutheran Counseling Services and I was offered a position as the Older Adult Coordinator that I couldn’t turn down…and this is when my journey at LCS began.
Working for LCS has been a divine intervention. I’ve had the opportunity to work with a population that is inspiring, with co-workers who love what they do, and partners that truly care for our community. While, also, being able to care for my young family without question.
The journey to LCS has been a great reminder that God places resources, tools and people in your life at the right time and in his time. Like R, Pamela, my temp admin, my husband and Megan. All of which got me through a really hard and trying time. They were the light and I was able to come out...CHANGED and ready for HIS journey!
You see, in order for me to serve at LCS, I had to change. I had to go through the hard and tough to even be considered to do the work that I get to do now. And boy, if Jesus’ promise in 1 Peter didn't come true in this journey…"after your season of suffering God in all His grace will restore, confirm, strengthen and establish you." (1 Peter 5:10) I was restored and I get to do what I love and to help others.
Sometimes the journey is burning down the field so that the new can regrow!
“It was the fire you went through, the fire you survived, the fire that burned and hurt and tormented that has brought you to today. You now have a strength within you that only comes from experience. You now have a passion within you to thrive that only comes after a time of just trying to survive.” -Pamela Crim